Guys Like Me

So a coworker was warned today about talking to "guys like me". My initial reaction was anger at the fool who made the generalization and I contemplated various ways of telling him off or punching him in the dick. Recently I have been trying to curb my urges to shake someone like a baby or belittle them so much they wouldn't even consider speaking to me again. So after a moment I calmed myself but the wheels were turning, I got to thinking what is a guy like me? What am I that is so threatening or childish or any of a dozen adjectives for that matter? A series of questions flooded my mind about what guys like me are and what people may see or thing of guys like me.

I drive a pickup but its parked next to my moped. I am covered in head to toe tattoos but I will gladly babysit your children. I work in hell Monday through Friday but I am in church Friday through Sunday. I have a loaded gun in my kitchen but I'll make you breakfast from scratch. I have a dog on my porch but my railings are decorated with flowers. I will help you move any time but I will leave you on the side of the road just as quick. I would step in front of a car for you but won't hesitate to fight you just as quickly. I try to get along with everyone but I could care less about anyones approval. I'm working towards a Masters in Social Work and I still have my own issues. I joined the Army to put foot to ass but I took a job as a medic to save people. I watch horror movies and write love songs. I'm cold and calculated but a smile is a one way ticket to my heart. I know God will provide for me but I'm still a workaholic. I love my family more than anything yet I moved 864 miles away from them.

These are just a few points of the dichotomy that is a guy like me. I am many things but can't be defined to my knowledge by any one thing. So I ask you; What is a guy like me?